Back to Back

Jump in, let’s go
Lay back, enjoy the show
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low,
These are the days when anything goes

-Sheryl Crow

 

I deactivated my Facebook (…what a weirdo!) on December 12th, 2010.

Haven’t been on for almost two months.  So I’m pretty sure I’ve severed any dependency that might have existed, I surely don’t miss feeling like a stalker whenever I log on, but I do miss that additional connection with friends.

In total, three people have asked where my Facebook has gone.

I’m not sure if this speaks about the quality of my friendships and other interpersonal relationships.  It’s a little concerning knowing that when/if you ever drop off FB, you no longer exist.  Communication with 300+ “friends” ceases, and you’re now in the same category as a nameless hitchhiker on their way to Utah.  One hundred people will no longer send an annual birthday greeting because that reminder won’t pop up on their page.  Fifty people won’t comment on your new profile picture or new relationship…

This new definition of “friends” bothers me.  An interpersonal relationship is based on a bit more than a couple face to face interactions and an appropriately timed online friend request.  I understand the desire to hold on to every person you’ve met on a social level, which is fine.  Knowing everything going on in their life in a matter of minutes is what scares me.  What do you talk about the next time you happen to meet up with them?  “….you never mentioned you worked at Pac Sun, have 3 olders brothers, and go to Florida every Fourth of July……what?  How do I know this?  I know this because I analyzed your entire Facebook page.”

Am I making you think yet?  I sure hope so.

Relationships come and go.  Strengthen and weaken.  Built up by doing things together and broken though deterioration.  People hate rejection….rejection anxiety is anticipating that horrible feeling (almost pain) when you get dumped or rejected by a group and making efforts to avoid it.  Nobody wants to be rejected, but it allows us to grow and change.  And the obsessive hoarding of friends on Facebook tends to simplify those waning relationships…because 2 lost from 500 “friends” is easier to handle than 1 lost from 5.

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  1. I don’t think I would be able to deactivate my Facebook. It would be like cutting off a third arm. Although when I think about it, cutting off a third arm might be beneficial to my health. The problem is that the third arm is my only channel of communication to my friends on another continent. Skype can always work sometimes, but Facebook is just so convenient. Maybe I should try deactivating it for a little while. See how it goes. Is your deactivation permanent you think?

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